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As I said, I wasn’t ready to “come out” publicly and so like my son before he “came out”, I turned to the privacy of the internet for help.
In the twilight zone before feeling ready to come out to the world as a Jewish parent of a gay child, it helps to share feelings in the trust of absolute confidentiality with likeminded parent souls who understand.
I am now Co-Ordinator for the parents’ group, “Parents of Jewish Gays and Lesbians” which helped me so much and which I would like to see there for other parents.
Was it our turn to “come out” as parents of a gay son? Was it for him to decide who and when to tell others or not? That made it much harder because I wanted to feel accepted too.
My head was full of fears which were further fuelled when I went on-line and came across far right materials discounting LGBT as wrong and blaming being gay on abuse or an unhealthy mother-son relationship.
Casual dating is generally not heard of in the world of religious Judaism; marriage is always the end goal.